| Boredom, incorporated. |
[13 Oct 2006|10:54am] |
David watched Jazlyn dart forward again and again, launching the tiny origami boats they'd spent all morning making. Meris sat serenely by her side, keeping an cautious eye on his hyper little daughter, her feet hanging down into the water and giving the occasional small splash that made Jazlyn giggle.
Pier 4's warm deck vibrated as Jazlyn ran back and forth, and David looked up from the reports he was writing to give her a brief grin. The day was warm and cerulean-skied, with a brisk breeze--soon fall would come to the 'lanteans, and he'd have to keep Jazlyn inside more...but for now, the three of them basked in the wan sun, completley content.
....except for the obvious lack of two boyfriends, of course.
David tapped his comm and dialed Cal's channel first, then Marc's, joining the two together with a twist of his fingers--conference calling via comm.
"it's a beautiful day, you know, you two....and Jazlyn and I are getting older by the minute...you'll miss both of us growing up if you dont' come play with us."
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| Calling calling for something in the air--Calling calling I know you must be there |
[23 Sep 2006|09:41pm] |
David didn't let Cal's hand leave his as they ran down the winding corridors to their quarters--he'd never have endangered Cal's reputation for being a hardass otherwise--but frankly he was worried out of his skull, not only for his Sister, but for Rachel, the baby, and Jazlyn. Meris had the smaller set of rooms just across the hall, and the door opened quickly as they staggered up. He didn't immediately see Meris or his daughter, and he called Jazlyn's name in a slightly panicked voice.
"Jazlyn!! answer me! Petit!!! ou est tu?--"
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[11 Sep 2006|01:57am] |
Meris turns and gives him a sweet, serene smile and a small wave as Jazlyn drags her though the open doorway and into the hall. Today is a meandering walk around the balconies, talking about water and wind and the planet, how seasons will change and how the sun and moon rise and fall with the world's turning. Jazlyn barely understands any of it, but she loves to listen--especially to Meris. Leyma will be joining them today, perhaps Jinto--the two are inseperable of late, and it seems likely today will be no different.
The door slides quietly, softly shut behind them, dampening the sound of Jazlyn's soft, sweet giggles as Meris tells her some amusing thing or other.
An entire day to himself....an. entire. day.
Marc and Cal are both away doing work of some importance, he's sure--but today is David's day off.
He'd dressed this morning to go and wake Jazlyn, to get her dressed, to feed her breakfast and get her ready for Meris's pickup--she'd spent the night in their rooms instead of Meris's--it really depended on what mood they were all in. He slips slowly out of his clothes again until he's shirtless and barefoot, wearing only a faded, overlarge pair of Marc's sweatpants. With a content sigh, he curls up on the couch in a square of pale yellow light and cuddles down with a small stack of non-work books.
If he's lucky he'll get a nap before Cal and Marc come home....and if he's very lucky, Cal and Marc will come home and wake him up in the best way possible. With those pleasant thoughts, David snuggles in to read a bit, and doesn't get ten pages before he's fast asleep again, warmed by the midmorning sun.
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[21 Aug 2006|08:48pm] |
Alamric hadn't meant to spray defoliant on him, of that he was mostly certain...but it hadn't helped his feelings any that instead of panicking and running around like a proper subordinate, the man had stood there, mouth gaping. It'd been more than a month since he'd had the energy to well and truly yell at a member of his lab team....and if the safety measures they'd failed to take into account were any indication, it was one shouting session that was well-timed. He scowled down at the stains on his khakis, and dodged a few expedition members pouring out of the mess hall as a habit. His luck ran out after the third body dodged, though, and he ran flat-out into someone.
He glanced up, apology on his lips, and grinned at his twin, twining his arm in hers.
"Saera!! God, I swear I saw you more often when we were in different parts of the country than I do now!"
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[01 Aug 2006|05:44pm] |
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David shifted Jazlyn so that she could hang around his neck piggyback-style as they walked the halls on their way to Cal's lab. It was past 1, and he hadn't seen his lover in the cafeteria, so he and Jazlyn were delivering lunch before returning to the safer botany labs. He wanders in, smiling and nodding to the techs he knew, he and Jazlyn peering about for Cal.
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[25 Jul 2006|01:05pm] |
They'd been talking for a few minutes about inconsequential things--the new plant in the labs, Reed's insistence on being a moron when Cal's just trying to tell him the correct way to do things, the latest reports from the Daedalus. Jazlyn had been eating quietly, her spoon clinking occasionally against the bottom of the glass dish. She's fallen quiet, though, and David feels her leaning heavily against his side. He glances down, worried at her sudden stillness, and smiles at finding her with her eyes mostly closed, one little fist pushed into Marc's palm, her head against his own shoulder. Cal's speaking, and once he finishes, David catches his attention and nods down at Jazlyn.
"I think it's time to get her somewhere quiet...she looks exhausted. A....are we really taking her home with us?"
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| All you never knew about me, and never wanted to ask. |
[13 Jul 2006|10:27pm] |
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. (they should be coming home soon, though) |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (There aren't any tvs to watch) |
✓ I own lots of books. (mostly on origami, botany, and poetry/philosophy) |
| ✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (I wear contacts) |
× I love to play video games. |
✓ I've tried marijuana. (I'm a botanist...I had to experience the effects of a psychadelic first hand! :)) |
| × I've watched porn movies. (embarassing, huh?) |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (only sometimes..it has to be a special occasion.) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (I found out there was an Ancient city waiting for us, found out I was gay, fell in love with two men, and was reunited with my twin. yeah, I've changed I think :P) |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... )
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| Invasion, part deux |
[12 Jul 2006|06:57pm] |
The lab is quiet, perfect in it's silence, the way it always is late into the night, when only he and his plants are stirring. The uv lamp casts a blueish glow on his pale face as he bends over the bed of still-forming ZPM crystals. Each bed is encased in plasteel now, to guard against a repeat of the first growth cycle, but none of his new sprouts show any signs of instability.
He's just finished the delicate process of repositioning the crystalline fruits in the electrolyte solution when a warbling siren sounds overhead, making him drop the empty phial he'd been holding. Without question, he rushes out into the front lab and gathers his things, bringing them back to the more secure ZedPM lab. Cal's on another level, in the chem lab, and he wonders briefly if he should leave the door unkeyed, in case he needs to get in. He'd call, of course, and David locks both the outer door and the inner one, securing the dangerous ZPM crystals.
He taps his comm and contacts Cal, ignoring his shaking fingers.
"Cal...I'm still in here in the ZedPM labs....tell Mckay I'm going to be keeping an eye on this last maturing crystal...it may be ready, and I can give him more power, but not unless he asks for it."
he waits for an answer, then switches to Marc's private channel.
"Marc....I'm in the ZPM lab--I wanted to catch you b-before they sent you offbase....I don't know what's going on, but be careful, ok?"
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| pain, shared--pain, lessened. Let me walk this path, so neither of us have to walk alone. |
[03 Jul 2006|12:08am] |
~Private Email~
To: Calvin Kavanagh, Head of Chemistry
From: David Parrish, Head of Botany
Cal--
Missed you this morning, I must have stayed up too late watching your bootleg Firefly episodes. Thank God today was my day off, or I would have been late to work.
Speaking of days off, I'm staying in and making lunch at the rooms today, if you're hungry..promise not to make anything weird.
I'll be waiting around noon.
--votre David
David rises from his laptop with a contented sigh, pulling Cal's long robe tighter around himself as he shuffles to the bathroom to shower. As he lathers and hums softly to himself, he thinks back to the previous night, and Cal's new bruise--the new information about Cal's past lover, and his abuse. It sickens him that he's never asked, that they've never talked about this...but he's prepared to remedy that, if Cal will let him. He'd seen the flash of guilt and fear in Cal's eyes, and he knows it well--that feeling that you might've deserved what you'd gotten....that this wont' be the last time...he'd expected to be attacked again every day since the greenhouse, and only now is comfortable being alone in the labs. He can't stand the thought of Cal feeling that way.
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| ...prodigal botanist returns (June 18th) |
[19 Jun 2006|11:27am] |
After a (fairly) uneventful night, the chattering birds and slowly brightening jungle had woken them to a clear, somewhat cooler morning. After gathering their things and securing all the samples, the Major and the rest of David's team make their way back to the 'gate. He's tired, he's dirty, and he mostly just wants to go home. There is something about today....he feels like he's forgotten to do something, as if he had something planned that he'd missed attending. He wouldn't have made plans, he decides, he'd known he was going offworld for more than a week.
.....maybe it'll come to him later
The sound of the gate engaging shakes him from his thoughts, and he adjusts his now-heavier backpack to reach down at his hip and send his IDC. Moments later they all walk through, back home.
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| Circumnavigate this body Of wonder and uncertainty Armed with every precious failure |
[16 Jun 2006|10:08am] |
And amateur cartography
I'm breathing deep before
I spread those maps out on my bedroom floor
And I'm leaning on this broken fence
Between past and present tense
David doesn't touch the beretta strapped to his thigh, though he's more comfortable with it today than he was yesterday, thanks to Marc. He doesn't know the man leading his team, doesn't really need to know anything about him beyond the fact that Marc approves of him, trusts him....that's enough. He has fifteen pounds of equpiment on his back, and several specimen cases carried by Marines. It seems today it will be him, the team leader, and three Marines, no other scientists. The planet sounds calm enough, subtropical climate, dense vegetation, no signs of agressive fauna besides the chattering monkeylike creatures he'd read about in the preliminary report. He's excited to go, a little frightened, but happy to be finally getting offplanet again. His team leader checks him over again, pulling at straps and loops and clasps David doesn't even know about, and gives him an encouraging smile.
"stop looking so peaked, Doc...we'll take care of you, no problem. We're used to babysittin' scientists.."
David's smile turns sour and he gives the man a scathing look- "I don't need b-babysitting, thank you Major, just make sure your men don't t-trample the undergrowth."
The Major shakes his head and grins, slapping David on the shoulder goodnaturedly. "aww c'mon, I didn't mean it that way...I'm sure we'll all get along fine. Have to, we're sleepin out tonight!"
David's left adjusting the load on his back and scuffing at the dais with one lug-soled boot, his brow pinched in thought as he waits to see if Marc or Cal will be able to come see him off.
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| "I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. |
[13 Jun 2006|08:27am] |
I aim with my eye.
I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I shoot with my mind.
I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.
I kill with my heart." ---The Dark Tower (Stephen King)
David handles the heavy black weapon gingerly, as if the mere act of touching it makes it unsafe, somehow dangerous in it's very nature. He's sure the weapon is empty, the clip on the table in front of him, shining and pregnant with it's customary passegers of metal and gunpowder. The firing range is empty save himself, the lights low and soothing, though his fingers tremble regardless.
They'd all been taught how to handle the medium-weight general-purpose berettas before they were allowed to be considered for the expedition. Everyone down to the cookstaff was given a few days of light instruction on how to break the weapon down, load and unload it, hold, squeeze, fire. The cool metal in his fingers is still unfamiliar, somehow loathesome and frightening. He thinks maybe that's the way it should be--if he fears it, he won't hurt himself. David pushes himself to slide the clip home, a long breath escaping as it snicks into place. He chambers the first round and just holds the weapon for a moment, the metal slowly warming in his palm.
This will keep Cal safe--this will keep him safe. He's heard how the marines in the mess hall had tripped Dylan, even with Bates standing right there. The fear and nausea creep back again, and he holds his arms out straight, hands cupping the firearm. He won't be a victim again--won't let Cal or Marc be victims either.
The beretta trembles before him, poised in midair, and he does his best to squeeze the trigger, then finds he can't.
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| Home, home, body and soul |
[06 Jun 2006|04:35pm] |
Marc smiled arching his head as they headed back to his room. He smiled stepping through the doors before he dropped him on the bed. He smiled and climbed over him. "This'll make you feel better." He chuckled.
David's wriggled 'round so that he has both legs around Marc's hips by the time they get to the threshold. He grunts softly as he's dropped onto the bed, and opens arms and legs wide to let Marc crawl over him, cover him with his large, hard body.
"mmh, promise? Gonna kiss me all better?" He arches up and rubs into Marc, his head thrown back, a sly grin on his face.
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| You know that ghost is me And I will never be set free |
[31 May 2006|11:53am] |
......As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see
She slips from the room where everything had gone wrong--had gone decidedly weird, his smaller hand in hers. Somehow that's so horribly wrong too--the idea of him and the slight sensation of knowing she gets when she thinks David...combined with a hand she assumes must have been her own. His body isn't unpleasant to be in--if she didn't know better, if she didn't know she was, in fact, QUITE female, it would feel right.
They must look a sight, dazed, blonde twins, hair ruffled and clothes dishevelled, wandering down Atlantis's busy halls. Well, if it had been anywhere else, it might look odd--here, apparently it's business-as-usual, because they get very few odd looks. She notices a few men and women in coats and uniforms, giving each a long, searching look.
"jeez, they all look like doctors! Don't...suppose we're in a loony bin or something do you?"
she whispers out the corner of his mouth, her voice pitched a little too loudly.
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| Homecoming |
[09 May 2006|10:55am] |
The room is as close to the way Calvin left it as he can get...the boxes from the storage facility are stacked neatly in the corner, and all of Calvin's things are back in their rightful places. Except for the letters he'd written to them both--David keeps his in the pocket of his pants every day.
"We're heading down the hall w'll be there in a second Davey" comes Marc's reply--David can hear the smile in his voice--it's good to know he's finally happy again....they all are. He'd let Marc go fetch Calvin alone so they could have some time together, plus--he had things to prepare. The bed is clean and made, new sheets from the last Daedalus run, and new pillows. The curtains are drawn half-closed, bathing the room in soft golden light. David is sprawled across the bed, fresh from a shower, he'd worked hard unpacking all of those boxes. His hair is dark with moisture, and he wears only a pair of Marc's boxers. The framed photos Calvin had given them glint in the soft sunlight, and David breathes another long sigh of contentment, waiting for his men to come home.
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| Eulogy and Ritual |
[27 Apr 2006|05:27pm] |
David pressed his palms together, the surfaces clammy and damp. He fidgeted with his hands a moment, tucking a stray strand of pinkish hair behind his ear, head bowed as if in deep thought. The crowd rustled faintly, adjusting their feet, shuffling, quiet murmurs and coughing. The night had fallen clear and deep, the stars above almost frightening in their number and apparent nearness. The moon rose behind David, a ball of celestial silver in the cool velvet of black sky. The atlantean sea had fallen still at sunset, the waves almost careful in their gentle slap against the pier. The clay boats behind him clank softly together as the waves rock them, bearing their precious burdens of all the notes written by the assembled, save two. David still held his note, and Marc's in his pocket.
For a moment he is frozen, unsure of how to begin--how to sum up the man he had loved more than life, despite their painfully short time together. He thinks it impossible, for words to matter, especially now, before these people he's sure are only here for ceremony, for show. Suddenly it seems a bad idea--he and Marc should have done this alone--how could any of these people be sincere? He looked from Mckay's stoic face to Bate's pinched brow, to the tear-streaked faces of Saera and Katie, standing very near one another.....the few who cared would have to be enough.
"Doctor Calvin Penn Kavanagh" he begins in a hushed voice--and the small groups' soft noises cease as if commanded.
"Head of Chemistry on Atlantis Base, former science team lead for the SGC, a man of science, a man of reason, a man of courage and conviction."
He ducks his head a moment and clears his throat, steeling himself.
"A man I loved v-very much..." "Calvin was killed on a routine offworld mission four days ago. The rest of his team returned home, safely, but Calvin remained behind on the planet, even his body lost to us. Losing someone, anyone is difficult...but losing someone you love, and not even being able to retrieve his remains is....heartbreaking. We t-thank you all for coming here tonight as we try to lay loved one to r-rest."
he raises his head afer a few moments, tear-filled blue eyes intent on the crowd, his face a pale oval in the firelit darkness behind him.
"C-calvin wasn't always well loved, and I understand that in a way. I didn't even know I l-loved him until he was already in my h-heart. Before I knew it, I was unable to imagine my life without him. He was a man of principles, a man who stuck to what he believed was right, no matter what anyone said. That didn't always make him popular...but to m-me, it made him something special. Calvin always had the best of intentions, even when his actions were hard to understand, but I know we all have tried and failed to make those around us understand the importance of what we do--of what we say. Calvin never needed that encouragement, from anyone, to continue doing what he t-thought was right. I loved him, and I always will--in our private lives he was kind and considerate and perfectly loyal in all things. Marcus and I will always miss him, will always think of him--and Atlantis will be lessened without him."
his eyes challenge those whose eyes he meets, challenges them to understand, to see that his words are true, that while he had faults, Calvin was, at his core, a just and loving man. He has run to the end of his words--and has said all he can in defense of Calvin, to show his love, to make the crowd see, not with their biased eyes, but with his own loving ones.
He makes a small gesture with his hands at Mckay and Rachel, beckoning them to the small podium he stands behind.
"if anyone else would like to say a few words, p-please feel free, before we begin the ceremony."
David turns away as Mckay approaches, unable to look the man in the face with tears still swimming in his eyes--he knows the astrophysicist had issue with Calvin constantly, and he wonders briefly why the man wants to say anything. Marc is already seated in a chair behind the podium, and David falls limply into the chair beside him, clutching desperately at his hand.
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| I’m already incomplete--I know you will cover me, Broken by your empathy |
[26 Apr 2006|08:08pm] |
~Atlantis Base Labs and Engineering broadcast~
From Dr. David Parrish and Major Marcus Lorne
To friends of Calvin Penn Kavanagh-
As you all know, our Head of Chemistry, Dr. Calvin Kavanagh lost his life in a recent offworld mission.
As we have no body to commend to Atlantis's sea, or to settle deep into the mainland's dark earth,
an alternative ritual will be observed.
On the West pier at 1900 hours this evening, a memorial service will be held in his honor. We will
be observing an old Athosian ritual of lamplighting, and those who wish to may participate. Small sheets
of paper will be handed out, along with pencils, and whoever wishes to write a letter on behalf of the
deceased may do so. Each missive will be fastened to a small clay bowl with a lantern atop, and the
floating lanterns will be released at moonrise.
The loved ones of the deceased ask that any who wish to attend feel free to do so.
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| “Sometimes you have to let go....." |
[17 Apr 2006|04:45pm] |
......to see if there was anything worth holding on to.”
David waves his hand over the stack of blue crystals outside the room he, Marc and Calvin had once shared....he hadn't been here in days, ever since Marc returned. It remained dark inside, his flaky gene refusing to activate the automatic lighting controls. The entire room still smelled of them, all three of them....and as David stands in the middle of the room, a thin stack of cardboard boxes under one arm, he wonders where he'll get the strength to touch Calvin's things, to pack them away like they mean nothing...
Marc's on his way with a second stack of boxes, and David waits for him, merely standing in the middle of the room with his eyes closed, Calvin's phantom breath against his nape.
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| He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, |
[13 Apr 2006|02:56pm] |
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
~encrypted jornal entry~
Marc's asleep, finally--I don't know how long we laid there like that, he cried 'til I was afraid he'd break...then just fell quiet all of the sudden. I'm not sure if he just went to sleep or fell unconcious from exhaustion and the leftover sedatives...whatever the reason I'm glad he's getting some rest. There was a huge noise from closer to centercity an hour or so ago--I could practically feel the vibrations from up here. Apparently my sister is getting comfortable in the labs. If Calvin were here, he'd be having a fit.
But he's not.
I don't know what to do...how to be...I'm so afraid, and I don't even know what of. I'm afraid of what I'll do if I stop thinking of just Marc...I'm afraid....of a lot of things.
.
.
.
.
he just started talking in his sleep, I don't know exactly what he's saying, but it sounds like the same words over and over--he did the same thing in the hospital the night after he came home. I guess we'll both be having nightmares for a long time. He won't tell me exactly what happened, just keeps saying it was his responsibility...that there was a fight...that he had to watch.
I have no idea.
But the idea of my Calvin fighting, even for his life, is as alien to me as the idea of living without him....I guess things change.
Anyway, he's getting restless, I need to get back into bed with him.
~end entry~
David closes his laptop quietly and slips back into bed, curling close and rubbing at Marc's shoulder, hoping to ease him out of fitful sleep without waking him.
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| I have fallen into an abyss. I live in a world so curious, so strange |
[05 Apr 2006|09:34am] |
.......Of the dream that was my life, this is my nightmare.
The air was dense, cloying with some undercurrent of disturbing sweetness. The crimson sky roiled overhead with clouds of obscene yellow and pale pink--everything was wrong, wrong. The foliage pushed in on him as he ran, scraping his cheeks and bare arms with wicked thorns and clawing branches. have to run, have to go, find them....find them....they're dying, have to.." his feet kept rhythm on the ground, twined with the rhythm of the words in his head. He could hear Calvin's voice, it echoed in the sickly green forest around him, a voice he was afraid he'd never hear again, twisted, agonised, made frightened and frenzied. Every time David stops, pauses to listen, he hears the voice again--somehow Calvin's overlaid with Marc's, the words lost in the filmy, acrid air.
I'm coming! he shouts..wait for me..please, wait for me......
but the voices fade, a last tortured scream his only reminder that they were every really there...and he's left panting, shirt clinging tightly to his sweatsoaked skin, lost in an alien forest and unable to help--unable to save them.
--
David wakens with a start, eyes blinking up at the dark ceiling above him--he'd had this dream every time he'd slept in the last three days-when Saera had made him, when he'd been unable to hold out without the stims he so desperately wanted to ask for. He always wakens sweaty, disoriented and panting, his cheeks wet with the tears he's afraid to shed while awake.
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